On my last blog I admitted that I suffered from hypochondriac tendencies. I’ve always been told when one faces and admits his problems it is healthy mentally and often the admitted problem lessens and even disappears. Wrong!
Let me explain about my wood duck house cleaning adventure. It was my hypochondriac experience of the week!
I am a member of our local sportsman’s club. Shortly after joining and with a little arm twisting I and another member agreed to serve as the wood duck house care takers. That requires among other things that we do an annual usage check on the thirty wood duck houses scattered around our county.
Normally that survey takes place late in the fall after the wood ticks, mosquitoes and wasps have gone into hibernation or suffered death as the result of a killing frost. Well this fall we experienced unusual weather. It rained every day.
Before we knew it the winter snows came and the wood duck houses had not been surveyed for usage nor had they been cleaned or had fresh sawdust added.
No problem. We will do those tasks early in the spring before the ducks return from their southern wintering homes.
Who knew that spring would introduce us to a Coronavirus Pandemic.
I was in the middle of worrying about the pandemic and hunkered down in our house as the governor of our state had ordered when I see that familiar yellow pickup pull into our yard.
It was the chairman of our sportsman’s club coming to speak to me and it had better not be closer then six feet! What could he want? We were all supposed to be house bound for a month!
It turns out the chairman is not a hypochondriac like me and he tells me through our screen door that tomorrow he, myself and a couple other guys would be surveying and cleaning the wood duck houses. Nothing was said about the six foot spacing rule.
And nothing was said about the governor ordering everyone to stay in their homes.
So what could I do? I worried all night about what was going to transpire the next day and how many of us would come down with the dreaded virus.
But a plan began to develop in my sleepless mind as I tossed and turned. I would have my wife ride in the car with me as we traveled from wood duck house to wood duck house.
Why, you say? That way I would never have to ride with any of the men in their pickups. Have you ever tried to sit six feet apart in a pickup? It can’t be done.
Once we got to the wood duck house sites my job was to record the findings that the wood duck houses revealed. If I was very careful I would be able to maintain a six foot space between myself and the other workers. I may have to make a few fancy dance moves to accomplish that task but I was sure I could keep my distance.
The next morning dawned bright and beautiful. It was a perfect spring day. My fears began to lessen until I was visiting with my friend CC?. That’s how I will refer to him as he is a very good friend and I wouldn’t want to embarrass him.
What does CC? mean you ask? It is an abbreviation for ‘Coronavirus Carrier?’ You see my friend CC? had traveled to Florida several weeks earlier to take in some Twins games. Half way through his vacation the pandemic caused the baseball exhibition games to be cancelled.
CC? confessed to me that morning that this was his 14th and last day of his quarantine! I didn’t need to know that! Remember I’m the lone member of HA which you may recall from my last blog stands for Hypochondriac Anonymous.
Suddenly the morning didn’t seem so perfect. Sure it had been fourteen days but what if one little virus was stuck in his nose hairs?
I decided I would stay as far away from him as possible without appearing impolite.
But then it happened. We were checking on a wood duck house that was quite far from where my car was parked. As we finished CC?? said, “Come on Lars jump in with me and I’ll take you to your car.”
Reluctantly I climbed into his pickup and sat three feet away from him. That would be three feet short of the governor’s guidelines! Yikes!
Have you ever tried to hold your breath for two and a half minutes? That’s how far my car was from his pickup. I was just ready to pass out from oxygen shortage when CC? pulled up next to my car.
I exited CC?’s pickup as quickly as possible and then leaned up against my own vehicle gasping for air. How refreshing that fresh air with its 20% oxygen felt.
My wife Kathie asked me if there was something wrong and I replied, “Not anymore.”
If she only new.
The day went very smoothly after that panicked pickup ride with CC?.
In fact it was relaxing to be out in the sunshine, fresh air and gentle breezes. Why had I been so foolish to worry?
Oh, that’s right I almost forgot I’m an incurable hypochondriac even after confessing it many, many times. 🙁
CC? is doing fine. If the Coronavirus was stuck in his nose hair it must have fallen harmlessly to the ground when he exhaled.
I feel silly for letting those ‘what if’ worries cause me stress. From now on I am going to turn over a new leaf. I’m kissing my hypochondriac tendencies goodby.
Suddenly I’m feeling great!
Oops, I just had a thought……I wonder how hard it would be to catch the bird flu? There was a lot of dust flying out of those wood duck houses. Oh, no something new to worry about. 🙁
To end on a brighter note may you and your family enjoy a blessed, digital and Happy Easter.! 🙂
Until next time.
