On my 75th birthday my daughter Jill gifted me with a home- made shirt with those words plastered on the front. Now four and a half years later my shirt is considered false advertising! 🙁

I had been bothered for the past ten years with a painful hip. Nobody could seem to diagnose the problem. I treated it as a sciatic nerve, after all that’s what Facebook said it was! Although nothing that I did to alleviate the nagging pain ever worked.

We had taken an X-ray ten years ago. So, the suggestion was made that a new X-ray be taken. When my surgeon viewed the new X-ray he exclaimed, “Now, there’s an example of bone on bone!”

I was very unhappy to hear that, however, that did explain my ten years of pain misery.

I think I saw a brief smile on the face of my surgeon as he anticipated another upcoming hip replacement.

I did not realize hip replacement required the body to become physically fit! For two months before the surgery every day I went through a series of exercises like no exercises I had ever done.

I’ve done pushups, jumping jacks, sit- ups, and burpees but have not done the pre-operation exercises designed to make the hip operation go smoothly.

Actually, the exercises are not difficult or exhausting. Each one is designed to strengthen various muscles in the soon to be invaded ‘bone on bone’ hip.

To complicate the process, I have been the care giver for my wife, Kathie who has been suffering memory loss for the past ten years.

So now the care giver is in need of a care giver! 🙁

Panic!

But guess who came to the rescue?

Our three grown children, Steve, Jill and Bonnie took turns taking care of us for the past few months.

We are so proud to call them our children! 🙂

Jill surrendered a bedroom in her house to us for many weeks as the pre-op time slowly moved toward operation day.

You know people die during these types of operations? Especially old people and I’ve suddenly realized I am old!

Not that I was worried, of course. 🙂

Being that I was the original care giver I must admit one of my downfalls was my cooking skills. So those weeks at Jill’s house were heavenly because the food was many steps up from what this care giver provided! 🙂

Kathie really enjoyed the change too!

As the operation day approached, we moved from Mahnomen to a tiny town a few miles south of Moorhead called Rustad where our other daughter, Bonnie, took over the care giver reins.

She had a very active house what with two dogs, Millie and Stella plus a long-haired cat who loved to be petted.

Again, the meals were all better than what I had provided, and the romping animal life kept both Kathie and I entertained!

At last, the long- awaited day arrived.

The evening before the operation I was instructed to use a chemical and sterilize the leg that was going to be operated on. The same leg would be sterilized again in the morning.

When I first heard that news, I imagined a cute nurse clothed all in white doing the sterilizing.

Alas, when the days arrived, I was forced to do the sterilizing myself. 🙁

I had a permanent marker ready to write “this leg” until a nurse assured me that they would be taking care of that identification process for me.

I wasn’t comfortable until the surgeon himself came in and autographed my left leg.

And then I drifted off into a sweet bliss.

When I awoke from that sweet bliss there were two nurses trying get me out of the bed and walk!

Through the blurry haze of awakening, I thought, “What do you mean get up and walk?”

“You just removed eight inches of my femur bone and put a huge screw into my pelvic bone and now you are expecting me to walk? I think there is a lawsuit developing here!”

When I realized I was holding a barf bag I immediately got nauseous took a couple futile steps before surrendering to the bed.

Maybe the second attempt will be more successful. 🙁

At this point the pain is slowly lessening.

I was becoming very impatient because of a discussion I had with a woman who had the same operation. She said the first week after the operation she used a walker and the second week she used a cane. The third week she went back to work!

She then stated she never had any pain! Never?

Maybe the month and a half of pain that I suffered means I’m a wuss! 🙁

All I can say is it was quite an experience. The only other hospital experience I had was when I was six years old, I spent a day in the Holy Trinity Hospital in Graceville having my tonsils removed.

At least they gave me ice cream after that experience! 🙂

I guess I can’t complain when every seventy- four years I have to experience a stay in the hospital!

But what to do about that beautiful shirt bragging about my perfect aging body? Oh, I know what I’ll do, I will pretend I’m a politician and just keep lying about it.

And now I must sign off as I feel the need to do another round of those new hip exercises! I’ve started to look forward to them!

Until next time.