Are there any of you blog readers contemplating retirement? If so, this blog is for you.

As a retired person myself I am able to speak with first- hand experience how time consuming it can be. So time consuming that often there is not enough time to retire. Let me explain.

Every weekday morning at 8:30 sharp a group of us meet at Subway and drink coffee and share the latest happenings around town since our previous meeting.

Well, that’s not exactly accurate. Neither Kathie nor I drink coffee so every morning I shell out $4.99 to purchase two bottles of  water. I know, I know we could just go to the pop dispenser and get the water free but that seems very cheap.

I certainly don’t want the Subway workers talking behind our backs about how we are freeloaders! 🙁

So, every month we spend roughly $99.80 for water a commodity that is free at our house! If we are to keep up with the local gossip, however, that is the price we have to pay.

The early morning gathering can be very informative and often a hilarious time, but it also shortens the day and prevents important tasks from getting started.

I could have half the garden weeded instead of chugging that expensive water out of a plastic bottle that potentially could cause catastrophic health problems.

The gathering breaks up at 9:30 sharp and we head for home, stopping first to pick up the mail from the mailbox.

That leads to another time waster. Now I have to look through the abundant junk mail and check for the pennies, nickels, quarters and even dollar bills often glued in the envelope’s interiors.

Also, the bills must be extracted from the junk mail. When bill paying time arrives a missing bill can lead to disastrous late fees.

Speaking of bill paying time, it’s another retirement destroyer! The first of the month just seems to appear at unbelievable speed and what a monotonous activity to take part in! However, having enough money to pay the bills is a thankful position to be in. 🙂

Then it’s time to clean off the emails on the iPads, iPhones and the computers, a job that never ends!

If one took time to read all the emails the rest of your retirement day would be shot.

Trips to the doctor increase as retirement arrives. When we were young it took a lot to have us make a visit to the clinic or hospital. Uncontrollable bleeding, broken bones protruding through the flesh or an appendix preparing to burst were prime examples of necessary trips to a clinic or hospital.

Retired people are going all the time now. Blood analysis, blood pressure control, aches and pains identified and on and on it goes. At least they have magazines to read in the waiting rooms if you dare pick one up as the person reading it before you likely had a very contagious disease. 🙁

Visiting clinics often leads to visiting the pharmacy.

I can remember a paper I wrote, many years ago, for a college physical education class where I discussed how I would eat healthy, exercise and remain free of taking pills.

So much for that goal. I have failed miserably and so has my wife, Kathie. So, we are constantly headed to the pharmacy for pill refills.

We live three miles from the pharmacy so think of all the carbon dioxide we are spewing into the air on those numerous trips. Al Gore would be very disappointed with us. 🙁

Once one is able to retire another bad habit interferes with enjoying the experience. Last Sunday I sat down to enjoy a Viking’s game and I slept through two touchdowns!

Since the Vikings are presently 0 – 3 the nap might have been the more enjoyable choice.

Uncontrollable naps can mess up retirement plans, however.

Eating meals take longer now. We have developed the habit of eating our noon meal at our local senior citizens center. The meals are very tasty.

The gravy, mashed potatoes, vegetables and delicious servings of meats followed up by a sugar filled dessert tends to reflect on the clinic scale in a negative fashion, however.

Another reason we are not eager to rush off to have a visit at the clinic because the first thing they do is make us step on that evil, tattle-tale scale! 🙁

Actually, the small increase in body fat is offset by the enjoyable visits with fellow senior citizens during the noon hour. Such times are healthy for us mentally.

That could also mean less trips to the pharmacy. 🙂

So, retirement can be interrupted in many ways.

Many things have not been mentioned. Things like mowing the lawn, weeding the garden, vacuuming, dusting, doing dishes, carrying out the trash, washing and drying clothes, feeding the dog, filling the bird feeders……need I continue?

So, I think Congress should pass a law outlawing the use of the word retirement and rename it semiretirement. All in favor signify by saying “aye”. 🙂

And now I am going to end this blog. I will go into the living room and catch the evening news. There is also the possibility that I may sneak in a short nap. 🙂

Until next time.