My wife Kathie has been in the nursing home now, beginning her fourth month.

For me it has been a painful, excruciating experience.

If Kathie read this she would snort and say, “How do you think I’m feeling buster?”

And she would have a valid point.

Her memory loss has touched my heart like no other experience in our marriage.

When I visit her in the care center her first question is, “Can I come home with you tonight?”

If that doesn’t illicit a positive response, she’ll follow with, ” Can you sleep here tonight?”

My heart is constantly suffering emotional pain. 🙁

Speaking of pain, the doctors diagnosed her aching leg was the result of two cracks in her pelvis. What more does she have to endure?

There are bright spots in the day, however.

When I come to visit her Kathie is sitting in her wheelchair, waving and grinning. How that welcome, quiets my aching heart!

But then we must answer those same questions again and again. “No, you can’t come home and no I can’t stay the night.”

The hardest part of having a loved one in the care center is how often does one visit? Kathie thinks it would be fine if I moved in.

I know I need to have some time for my own mental health. It’s just that I’m an old softie and I cave and visit when I should be sitting by the lake pulling in walleye after walleye. 🙂

There is only one upside to having Kathie in the care center. We have Dish T.V at our house and they do not carry the Minnesota Twins. However, the care center does carry the Twin’s channel, so it has been nice getting reacquainted with the Twin players again.

Some of the excitement that takes place in the care center is endless wheelchair rides. I get an early idea on how my darling wife is feeling that particular day when the wheelchair gets very difficult to push.

Guess who’s dragging her feet?

We often go outside and sit in chairs and enjoy the sounds of nature or watch the sun set.

There is at least one bathroom break during those activities. 🙂

It took us a while to discover the pop machines hidden in one of the unused rooms. Since Mountain Dew is Kathie’s go to beverage we frequently visit and stock up on the brew.

Even though this is a stressful and sad time for both of us there are moments of hilarity.

I will share an example of the hilarity that occurred a couple weeks ago but if you are reading this blog to a small child (I have no idea why you would be doing that?) tell the children to plug their ears until this section of the blog has been completed.

Often when I am visiting Kathie in the evenings, I will help her get ready for bed. One evening I was in the process, and I had just removed her bra.

Lifting her boob, I discovered a nickel.

Now that was weird, so I thought what about checking boob number two?

To my shock boob number two also contained a nickel in storage!

I did ask Kathie where the cash came from but since she has short term memory loss she had no idea.

Then it dawned on me that the residents had played bingo that afternoon. The prize for winning at bingo is a nickel. So, Kathie had been the lucky winner of two games of bingo! 🙂

We all chuckle when the story is retold, and it will probably be retold often. 🙂

When someone suffers memory loss it is difficult to find activities that can be enjoyed. Card playing, reading, dice games, puzzles and board games can be difficult or even impossible to enjoy.

Then I got a terrific idea. But would it work?

My first published writings were three nature books titled Children in the Outdoors, Volumes I, II and III.

Our family members were the main characters.

Of course, I was the biology teacher who added great knowledge to our children, Steve, Jill and Bonnies’ outdoor adventures.

In the first volume Kathie was a stay- at- home mom who was often found in the kitchen baking cookies.

Later in the series Kathie became very knowledgeable of the outdoors too. Had I not changed Kathie’s staying home cooking and cleaning behavior today’s readers would undoubtedly have had a book burning! 🙁

So, get on with it! What was my idea, and did it work?

One evening when I went to visit Kathie, I brought the three volumes of Children in the Outdoors along and asked Kathie if she would like me to read to her.

Her eyes lit up and smiling she replied, “Sure!”

Probably the ability to read is the greatest loss Kathie has suffered to date.

In years gone by she would have read several books a week.

So, every night that I am there I read her a couple stories and of course there is a fun page for each story. We study the fun pages together.

Kathie is calm and quiet during the readings, largely I think because she recognizes the stories are about us, our family.

Love shows up in the most unusual ways. 🙂

If you have a moment sending up a quick prayer for Kathie would be very much appreciated. 🙂

Until next time.