Tomorrow will be our oldest offspring’s 50th birthday! A surprise party is scheduled to take place at his favorite golf course so remind me when I complete this blog that I do not share it until the day after tomorrow!

If I shared and the surprise ended up not being a surprise, I would undoubtably be removed from our family tree immediately!

Steve was our first born so that alone was special but something else added to the drama of the occasion. I’m ashamed to admit I, his father, missed his birth and the first month of his life! 🙁

Let me explain the situation before branding me a ‘failed father’.

In 1970 I was awarded a full ride scholarship to the University of Oklahoma Master’s Program. It would take place in June and July for four consecutive years.

So, when does baby Steve decide to make his appearance? In June of 1973!

The program would end in 1973 so if I didn’t complete my master’s degree requirements that summer, I would have to return and complete the program on my own dime at a later time.

That would have been very expensive. Also not completing my masters would have meant the salary increase that the masters would have supplied over the remainder of my teaching career would have been lost.

Kathie and I discussed the pros and cons of the situation and agreed that she would remain in Wheaton where her Mom and Dad resided, and I would make the lonely journey to Sooner country and complete summer four of the master’s program.

I lived in a dorm that summer, ate cafeteria food and suffered the Oklahoma summer heat.

Kathie and I communicated by letters. Long distance phone calls were expensive, so we kept in touch via the written word.

Steve arrived on a Friday afternoon. I remember like it was yesterday. I had spent the afternoon on a field trip capturing bugs, a biology teachers dream job. 🙂

Unbeknownst to me Kathie was in labor at that time. In fact, she was in labor for twenty-two hours!

Kathie’s Dad failed to inform me of that fact when he called that evening to congratulate me and proudly announce that Kathie and I had our first born, a son.

I celebrated by going out and buying bubble gum cigars to hand out to my fellow grad students.

Then I realized I had a little more than a month before I would be able to see our first child! 🙁

Now there are probably some blog readers in shock after reading to this stage of my blog. How could you not race home to meet your son?

First of all, it would have been a sixteen- hour drive to make the trip back to Wheaton. Flying was a possibility but that would have required getting from Minneapolis to Wheaton and then my fear was once I saw Steve I might just decide to stay and cancel my master ‘s program that I was so close to completing.

Also, Kathie and I had agreed that I needed to finish my degree for the financial betterment of our family.

We were just reliving that “becoming parents” summer today as I was preparing to write the blog. We both agreed that it was good I or Kathie didn’t suggest we change plans and abandon the need to finish my degree.

Had either of us questioned the original decision the new little baby would have undoubtedly won out. 🙂

Earlier I mentioned we never used the phone but wrote letters instead. Well, there was that one 3:30 a.m. phone call that roused me out of my dorm room bed.

Rushing to the phone still in a semi-sleep stupor I put the phone receiver to my ear and heard my son for the first time.

Steve was not happy! He was crying hysterically like little babies often do and I think Kathie decided I should enjoy that part of parenthood too. I can still remember those first sounds of my own child that I had yet to meet.

Looking back, I wonder how I was able to stick with the plan and complete the master’s program.

I think being a student and the intense workload kept me so focused that I didn’t have time to dwell on missing Kathie and Steve as much.

Thank goodness for the workload!

And of course, at the end of the master’s program there is a final written test covering all the classes taken during the four summers. That required a burning of the midnight oil as reviewing the four summer school experiences was intense and challenging.

After the testing was complete, I was relieved to discover I had passed the final test and had earned a Master’s Degree of Natural Science. It was a dream come true for me and I was so thankful I had, had a spouse who had supported me so willingly. 🙂

The final day my car was packed and ready to escape Oklahoma as I had some catching up to do with a spouse and son sixteen hours north.

I drove long into the night and reached Sioux Falls, South Dakota just as the sun was rising. But when the fence posts along the highway began running out into the middle of the road, I knew I was beginning to hallucinate.

So, I pulled into a rest stop and took a quick nap.

Refreshed from the nap I continued my journey northward and arrived in Wheaton midmorning.

I can still remember my first view of Steve. He was bigger than I imagined, and I struggled to hold him at first as I had never held a five- week baby before.

Shortly thereafter I had the pleasure of being introduced to diaper changing and the realization of fatherhood really set in. 🙂

I think my son has forgiven me for missing his birth and the first five weeks of his life because of what he said at my retirement party.

Each of our three siblings spoke at my retirement party in 2001 and Steve started out his speech reminding the audience how he had been fatherless for the first five weeks of his life.

Then he followed up by stating that weeks of therapy had healed his damaged psychic and he had recovered from the fatherless trauma.

He has inherited my unusual sense of humor, so I knew I had been forgiven. 🙂

Happy 50th Birthday, Steve! 🙂

Until next time.